2010

another year passed..so quickly..it get faster every year..
new year resolution..
-graduate with at least a second upper..
-make more money..
-graduate trip to Europe..
-meet new people..make new frenz
-further my studies??
-i still want my iphone..
-be friends with her again..
-workout the body..
-eat less..
-have something memorable to look back to..

Sent her a Christmas card this year..went missing last year as i was working and everything was still in a mess..just wanna keep in touch..nothing much else..everywhere is crowed now..hope she's fine..

been busy organising meet ups with people..meeting up is good..makes me realise it's time to wake up my idea..haha..no more in school..need to start planning for future..the thing about future is you know not what will happen..if that's the case..then how to go about planning for it? everyone's going aboard..wonder when it's my turn..was rather shock to know one of my fren decided to call it quits here and go overseas for good..at least for now..to leave everything behind and go to a new environment..not easy..
Economy's picking up..hope it'll be good news for everyone next year..
I still don't see myself working for others..hmmm..strat a business then..lots of ideas..but lack the doing it...will see..
Ashton is starting to mumble stuff already..very soon he'll be calling daddy mommy..life is so simple actually..why do we complicate things when we eventually grow up...heavens should be filled with babies and children..only then there wont be complicate adults to complicate life..
need to look for 2 picture of him to contest in some cute baby competition..hmmm..gotta take more photos of my cute nephew then =)
Life should be simple..

Maybe i've been complicating things myself..should look at things in different perspective..maybe been looking at the complicated side of things..and everything just seems so impossible..giving up at times..i'm still looking for a worthy charity organisation to work with..was helping out at MAW..but things weren't what i expected..nothing wrong with MAW..just feel it's not a long term thing at MAW..

New year's eve programme really sucks..need to find some entertainment for now..

Happy New Year people..have a great one ahead..

一半

一直等 一个人 等了很久

这一场 独角戏 是很寂寞

春夏秋冬 我的窗口 只有风经过

爱很深 有多深 我也不懂

你走后 我的心 变得脆弱

听一首歌 也觉得痛

但我谁也没有说


右边的座位 右边的枕头

都已经空了那么久

为你守候 那是因为 我已经看透

没有你的爱 这个我只是一半

不哭了 不笑了

为谁努力我也不明白

没有人能取代 一个圆的另一半

我固执 的等待 等风再把你带回来


爱很深 有多深 我也不懂

你走后 我的心 变得脆弱

听一首歌 也觉得痛

但我谁也没有说


右边的座位 右边的枕头

都已经空了那么久

为你守候 那是因为 我已经看透


没有你的爱 这个我只是一半

不哭了 不笑了

为谁努力我也不明白

没有人能取代 一个圆的另一半

我固执 的等待 等风再把你带回来


只有你的微笑能让我心安

只有你的拥抱可以把我填满

只有你手里的那一把钥匙

能把心打开


没有你的爱 这个我只是一半

不哭了 不笑了

为谁努力我也不明白

没有人能取代 一个圆的另一半

我固执 的等待 等风再把你带回来

a trip down memory lane

a trip down memory lane on Friday brings back plentiful of memories from the now distant past...

strangers pack the streets..area revamped..same place new feelings...
what started out as something simple 2 years ago has etched a powerful image in my heart and mind..
things have changed..people have changed..I've changed..we all changed in the short 2 years time..

as much as you wanna keep things constant..the only constant in life is change..so we had to keep changing...keep telling ourselves all is well..as long as we keep going...

Well the thing about life is, it gets weird. People are always talking ya about truth. Everybody always knows what the truth is, like it was toilet paper or somethin', and they got a supply in the closet. But what you learn, as you get older, is there ain't no truth. All there is is bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life like when you get older is, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that's your bullshit, so to speak..

so I've chosen my layer of bullshit..and I'm gonna stick to it..and make it the truth everyone believes..

gonna get busy over the next few months..busy is good..shoots and school..lovely..

zesty

Been thinking about doing postgrad after this year..a degree is simply not enough these days..so was telling a friend if i manage to get my second upper..i'll try to apply for one in UK..so that'll be my short term plan...

weather these days really horrible..it's either wet or warm and humid...so looking forward to cooling days..scouted University of Bristol..looks good..partly because it says the entry requirement is a minimum of second upper class honours..which is still achievable..first class is of course beyond reach..

i'm bored..it's time for something to refresh myself =)

Confession

blogger has been giving me lots of problems..which explains the absence..

just gotten my results..not fantastic..but expected..at least the how much effort yields how much results theory works..so my First class is effectively gone unless miracle happens..can only aim for Second upper..hmmm..

gotten a new tripod..so will be looking to do more products macro and landscape..

a lot of things we put in effort..but that doesn't guarantee a result we'll be pleased with..like the food photography assignment i was hoping to land..even though i was rather pleased with the works i submit for selection..given the restriction i had..but it still didn't go my way..simply because i think they felt i'm not experience or qualified for it..fair enough..no hard feelings..but hard work don't give you success..so what matters is that we enjoy the process..
and this applies to many other areas in life..lesson is we should not always expect too much in return for our every effort..and take in the positives not just from results but also the process..

always felt i had this confession to make..i'm still thinking of her...

and i dun like to be made use off =(

Lower Risk

You may be at risk for major depression.

* If you have recurring thoughts of death or suicide, call your doctor or any qualified health care provider right away. If you need immediate assistance or think you may have a medical emergency, call 911. Here are additional crisis resources if you need them.

You replied that you are feeling four or fewer of the common symptoms of depression. In general, people experiencing depression have five or more common symptoms of the condition. But every individual is unique. If you are concerned about depression, talk with your doctor.

Depression shows up in many different ways. People often lose interest in favorite activities and feel sad or hopeless. They may also have sleep problems, gain or lose weight, feel irritable or angry, or be in physical pain for unexplained reasons. Feeling guilty, anxious, or having difficulty concentrating are also common signs of depression. Fortunately, there are many ways to treat depression, and more than 80% of people treated for depression improve within a year.

gone

haven't been blogging much..blogger seems to be doing some upgrading works..i've been busy with wishes at make a wish...this week shld be better..currently shooting a similar event to last year's Disney event..dunno izzet me or them..the first time always go wrong..
Saw Kobe Bryant up close and personal..really friendly..not what i had expected..
slowly starting to set up my photography biz and works..a simple website created..details will be update soon..photoplay blog is on the way..
slowly slowly making my way into the scene..

holidays are hard to pass nowadays..especially when my creative juices runs out on me..

when someone tells you not wait..do you keep on waiting?
a matter of worth it or not..but how do you measure...
somethings we can live with..somethings we cannot..
where do you draw the line?

i nid more assignment..so broke..

Busy

Having been updating much..been busy..went back for reservist..it was hell..but meeting up with old mates was well worth it..trying to win over an assignment on food photography..details to be sorted out..been doing up a new photoblog..details to be released asap..
Completed my first wish..an urgent wish with make a wish foundation..wish the wish family all the best..pray for hope..and hope good things will be delivered..
Give thanks that I'm able to be part of a do good organization..
Ashton is growing steadily..now he's about 5 kg already..a little chubby..but adorable nonetheless..gonna do up an album for him..so need to gather more photos =)
Camera (D80) is flying off again...it has traveled to more countries than me already =( need to get some cash in my pocket and go travel again..can't wait =)

Micheal Jackson's passed away..there are many negative reports about him but i believe with death..all else doesn't matter..we should remember his brilliance..his moonwalk..robot dance..popping and locking..his songs..by now his cd sales should be on fire..it's funny when one's not around anymore people then start to notice this person again..buying his songs..as a keep sake..or what?



-Don't wait till it's too late to tell someone you care that you love them-

Time waits for no man..but for this moment..it's captured forever..and that's the beauty of Photography !

Ashton's 1st mth

One month has passed..so quick..Ashton is one month young..haha..still not much change in terms of size..still sleep a lot..like me..haha...
Best time of one's life is when you're still a child..everyone showers you with love and care..though you may not remember much..but the love you will never forget..

So cheers to more happy days ahead for Ashton whose life journey just started..keeping things simple just like now..being happy and content..loved and loving...

-Happy 1st Month ! -

Disappointment

Disappointment is aplenty in life..

Read something I'm not supposed to have read earlier on..Knowing oneself is not good and people telling you that you're not good enough is two different issue..
Knowing you're not good enough, there's room for you to improve..at your pace and on your own..Knowing that others feel you're not good makes things a tat tougher..because they'll already have a bad impression and as we not it's not easy to change one's perception..and as such..double the effort is needed..

A lot of time I question myself what am I gonna do for the rest of my life..and most of the time I've no freaking idea..when i picked up the camera, i thought I've gotten something in the bag..something that I'm good at..something that i can out do others..at least something that I enjoy doing..somewhere down the road when I started thinking maybe I can try and see if I can carve a career out of this hobby..and that's when things starts to become complicated..
When I'm shooting on my own..things is simpler..easier..I only answer to myself..I can take my time to improve my technique..But when you have people to answer to..people breathing down your neck..things certainly gets harder..
I've been getting critiques like suggestive critiques...for example if I do this and that it'll be better..and I appreciate such comments..and if I have a good reason for doing what I did..I'll rebuke..but today's comment was a flat lousy..and that's tough to take in..
And furthermore when it was supposed to be spoken behind your back..that just stinks..I rather is a direct comment so I can find out where has gone wrong..and so I kinda not know how to react..

One setback is not going to hinder me..but I just have to keep things back to simpler terms and not be overly concern about what other people says..good suggestive/constructive comments I'll take..others..you'll bound to hear..and I should try to take it easy..

Lesson learnt..Don't read messages that's not meant for you..haha..

I'll bounce back like I always do...

-Ignorance is a bliss-

Sick day...

Sick..sianz..sux...
It always happens when i'm having exams..
late nights takes a toll on our body..
popped a couple of pills..feeling drowsy..tts y taking a break..
was toking abt how much stuff i've to chun out after my exams..abt 3 sets of photos..reservice..1 and 6 days...another 2 shoots in June..when can i go for my long deserved holiday??? hmmm...
When you're busy with stuff..your mind wanders less...an idle's mind is a devil's playground..stupid thoughts tends to be planted to your minds when your mind is idling..so to an extent it's good to be busy..

Just started using lightroom..feels good..and best of all..i can do batch adjustment under similar conditions..unlike the case in photoshop..further processing is still needed to be done on photoshop though..but still..i think i'll stick to lightroom for simple editing for the time being..it's time saving..and time is money...

prison break has come to an end for season 4..and it appears to be the last season..hmmm..been following the series for yrs now..kinda miss it..plus the ending is not the best..there's a debate about a possible season 5..but with the main character dead..i wonder how..but hopefully there will be a season 5 =)

saw a photography competition..but deadline is 2 days from now..real tight..had the photos but can't find help to get them ready as i have 2 papers for the next 2 days..arghhh...

going back to mug...two more days to go..hmmmm

-Certain things are not meant to be...and i knew it-

Regrets

Regrets is also a form of beauty..because there's still something for us to feel regret about..

-Happiness can be so simple-

Sleeping beauty

Good nights people..sleep tight..sweet dreams =)

Passed out

Passed out..never knew wad this phrase means until today...
went out to buy envelops and mail some pics i've taken to the client..thought it'll be a snappy affair..so went out with my specs on instead of my contacts..at first everything looks overly focus until my eyes cannot take it..so i thought must be because i very long never wear specs out and under such a hot sun...but before i came to a conclusion..i was sitting by the road holding my head which is spinning by now..something was not right...not with my specs but with my head...so for the 5-10 min..i was sort of passed out..omg..
think it's because not enough quality sleep plus wrong human clock mechanism..and of cause the horrible weather..
back home now..still feeling light headed..hmmm
i hate exams..

Finally..all my assignments have ended..no more shoots..can finally settle down to study for my exams which starts next week...Did a ROM shoot today..weather was bad..so means lots of editing to do..haha..blame weather..

Everything went smoothly i guess..not much hiccups..My friend is only 23..her husband is i think 24 or 25..hmmm..so young get married..takes a lot of planning and money...He seems like a reliable guy so i think my friend is in good hands...was taking a ride by her dad to chervons for the buffet dinner..then was talking about how we know each other..then the dad was like saying "你们以前是在一起的阿" but he was referring to use to study in the same school..and on came a moment of silence then laughter..then at the chalet also the same thing with the uncles..haha..omg..was quite awkward..for a moment..though many years have passed since we were together..feelings have passed too..but still somehow there's some awkwardness around..on my side at least..haha..saw her grandparents..still looking strong and healthy after 6 yrs..but think they forgot me already..after all they saw me back then for a while only..

But today's incident dawn on me as to whether i know my feelings? whether i know how to love someone..
i can still faintly remember when she left..i was feeling really upset and stuff..then here I'm shooting for her ROM..what was i thinking actually? hmmmm...if i had really such strong feelings back then..then why am i able to take things so easily now?
human emotions are something science can never predict..somehow I'm confused at times..what am i really feeling...if i really know my feelings i claim to have for..and more so when it's not reciprocate..

It's something i need to learn to understand..

-Do i love as i claim to be??-

Just My Luck

was watching just my luck awhile ago..it's about the luckiest woman meeting the unluckiest guy...the moment they kiss..the luckiness(unluckiness) will be passed onto the other person..and it'll manifest within 10 seconds..so the plot is whether or not to love each other knowing one of them will always be super unlucky while the other can have all the luck in the world..
well of course they ended up together like every love story endings...

In love..it made us wanna sacrifice everything for the other party...giving up your luck..hitting a few walls in the process..and the only way to keep it going is when the love is reciprocate..because after that few walls..the next one just got higher and stronger..

How many walls are you willing to hit?

Another take away from the show is..that unlucky guy...after being unlucky for many many years survive by taking things easy and countering one problem at a time...remembering not to open an umbrella indoors..always bring a bag full of tools and kit to tide over anything that can happen..being prepared for the unknown...

We may hit obstacles..some more often..some less..if we keep harping over a problem..an issue..staying in that corner..we'll always be stuck there..cursing and swearing about your fate..
Instead..we should take things on a lighter side as much as possible..look at the problem for awhile..think of how to counter it..if really no way..then think of how to adapt to it..over time..obstacles will become lesser..problems smaller..and worries worry itself...best of all..you'll feel much better..

-Face your obstacles..it's the only way round-

Baby Ashton

More of Ashton's pics..

Happy Birthday baby Ashton !!!!!
wooo..i'm officially uncle..haha...went down to the hospital just now...just came home..he's so small !!! too bad we cant stay for long..i can see my new model for my portraitures..hehe
Mom says he's a good life cow bcos he's born at night..night time cows are resting..lol hope he's as lucky as wad my mom says.. =)

weee...!

-A new beginning..a new hope..a new life-

We should never say some things when we're in a state of instability..cos anything said will just be somethings tt's said in the heat of all the emotional unrest..which will cloud your judgement..well..having said that..i'll just haf to face the consequence of the outburst..
today is not a gd day...totally distracted..by wad i read..by my sis in law..she's in the hospital now..some complications occur..hmmm..

If everything goes well..i'll be an uncle tmr...i guess child birth..no matter wad era it is..will always be a dangerous process..even in this times where we assumed science is so advance..complications always occur..and u cant help but to feel helpless at times..
to quote from my bro..the baby poo in the womb..hmmmsth i've never heard of but potentially dangerous..which is y the doc is trying to get the baby out now even as i'm typing all this..

life is made up of additions...day by day everything adds up..wealth..age..problems..etc
but it is through substraction that we find peace and contentment..
we always look for more..not knowing that we already have wad we need in our hands..
there's nothing wrong going for greater things in life..but we should never forget wad we already have right in fromt of us..else we'll pay a great price for it when it's gone and away from us..

-sometimes all we have is hope-

100th post

This is my 100th post !!!
after so long finally reached my 100th..haha..
just came home from a shoot..hanwei's sis's 21st
she was wasted and had to be carried onto the car..poor girl..dead drunk..i still don't understand what's so nice about drinking..hmmm and i probably never will understand..will be posting some pics later..got quite frustrated at the focusing..it's was really dark..and the auto focus had to hunt for quite a while to give me a focus point..hmpf..what's the use of a photographer in darkness???

seeing hanwei's family..envious..mine could never be like that...probably because the age gap is too great for mine..and we're not as affluent..kinda lost tonight..not too sure what to take..haha..place was cramped..lights dimmed..challenge..but do get some interesting pictures..hope can find the time to edit them soon..

a lot of people question why photographers charge so much when all they have to do is to stand in-front of you and say "ready..1..2..3.. smile !!! and press the shutter release button and you get a picture..well..that's because you people never get to see the work behind getting that picture and the cost not known to people who are not in this line..
Before a photographer started his career..he's probably gotta go for courses..buy the entry dslr and lenses..try out on his own..all this time not earning a penny other than the satisfaction from a good photo..when he decided to go pro...have to buy better dslrs..better lenses and equipment..marketing work..faster computers..hundred of hours shooting and thousands more behind the monitor screen doing up the final touches for that picture you see and decide whether if it's worth your money...what I've mentioned is just some of the things i know..of cos I'm not at the pro level yet..so some of the other hidden effort and cost I'm not sure off..but all these mentioned comes up to a great number...
so next time when you wanna engage a photographer..do not question why we charge this and that..question the quality level we're at..ask for our portfolio..then if it satisfy your needs then engage the photographer..there's one for every budget..

never really study today...slept late..woke up late..reach home late..late late late..LATE seems to always get to me..I'm constantly trying to shake it off but it always caught up to me...hmpf..so gotta burn the wee hours lamp oil after I'm finish with this..

texted her when i had time in between my shoot just now..i felt this complex feeling inside me..frustration..disappointment..sad..angry..dejected..helpless..used..happy..glad..drunked(my plain water became liquor..hanwei's aunt changed it and i thought it's lime juice)..very complex la..I'm surprise i can feel so many things at one go and not go crazy..i wish i had the courage to just tell her what i feel..patience i have..but it's no use..effort i put in..but it's not enough..care i gave..but it's too little..
i don't know what else to do already..nothing i did seems to work..and when you start to feel disappointed..it's just that much harder..knowing that what you're doing will eventually go down the drain..then why do so much? it takes 1/5 courage and 4/5 naiveness to hang on..when courage runs out...we start to look naive...

There's no such thing as a happy ending..not for everyone..to have one..one has to do so much good in his/her life..I've done too much bad..i won't have a happy ending..

Don't believe in karma...just do to the best of your
ability...and leave no regrets...if all else fails...look back...and smile because it happened

Short-sighted

Susan Boyle

Guess by now most people have seen what Susan Boyle did on the show...
A few lessons learnt...

Don't judge a book by it's cover...always give it a chance to understand a person before you pass the judgement on someone..

If u believe in your dreams...go work hard for it...people might scorn at your looks blah blah..but if you have the substance...don't be afraid to go for what you believe in..

Sometimes when you feel that you know somebody...understand some people..don't be so sure...we're afterall unique individuals..each and everyone of our thoughts and actions are unique...some similarities may occur once in awhile..but don't judge..always give someone the chance that most people don't get...

Hanging out more often with a person may allow you to get to know them better...their likes and dislikes..habits..good and bad..and remember..it goes two ways..and when you starts to feel unappreciated in the process..things starts to change..most people wants to be appreciated..be it their time..their company..their efforts..so do show those you care your appreciation..

and when all that you're doing can't even compare to what a few texts from someone else..it's not nice..you might not have realise..but when you're smiling when you're looking at the text msg at times..the smile that's so warm..but it's not meant for you..Love is a complicated feeling full of emotions..frustrations..and naiveness..it clouds your judgements and makes you upset over the simpliest of things..even aloofness kills..when you say someone is doing that to you..are you doing it to other people...
You think that by staying around..being near..you'll be able to influence something..but one's mind is more complicated than what we think...Human's greatest flaw is the inability to see what we have in our hands...we always look elsewhere for better things and so we thought..and we think that what we have will always be there and therefore tends to neglect and not appreciate the reason for being there..it happens so damn often even at home...think



-Are you so short-sighted that you cannot see what's in front-

翻开随身携带的记事本
写着许多事都是关于你
你讨厌被冷落 习惯被守候
寂寞才找我

我看见自己写下的心情
把自己放在卑微的后头
等你等太久 想你泪会流
而幸福快乐是什么

爱的痛了 痛的哭了
哭的累了 日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好 像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我

爱的痛了 痛的哭了
哭的累了 矛盾心里总是强求
劝自己要放手 闭上眼让你走
烧掉日记重新来过

~Rock Paper Scissors~

Which is worse?

Which is worse...gastric pains or insomnia??
Answer: when they work hand in hand...
last night was the worse episode so far..stuck in bed..couldn't sleep..with slight discomfort..when i finally fall asleep..was woken up by the intensifying pain and eveytime i fall back to sleep..this whole cycle repeats...and this morning..wooo..never felt like this before..the pain becomes unified with the heartbeat..ahhh...

It's almost like a beast inside me devouring me from within..the beast within...ahhhh..think i'll be visiting the doc soon..tho i really don't like them..
but there's so much thing to be done..revision...collect equipment from sk...shoot on sunday...hmmm..

My name cards are in !!! haha..but the quality is not as good..probably should have changed the colour profile to adobe srgb...lesson learnt..that's one thing i have no idea at all..which is why i don't do prints..plus they are expensive..hmmm
now when people ask for my name card i can give..unlike before..haha..




-an idle's mind is a devil's playground-

hmmmm...something seems wrong...can't word it..but something is really wrong/different...just feel it there...or not there...hmmmm...

..study study..


~你说你不管他了，但你满脑子都是他~

-The vibrant before the storm-

keep getting stuck in work today..didn't do much at all..ahhhh..time is winding down on me...hmmm..tummy is constantly giving me problems.. =(
things are pretty calm now..but i've got a bad feeling..haha..like something's gonna happen..not that i know what's gonna happen..but rather a premonition..and sometimes they're really accurate..

If you know something is gonna happen..will you do anything to change it? because if you do..another change is triggered by your actions?because everything in this world is on a balance..and it'll always strive to restore that balance..so whatever you do or not do will trigger a reaction..like say you don't work hard when you're young..most probably when you're old..you'll suffer..so when you decided to do or not do something..think of the repercussion..

-the simplest answer is often right in front of you-

Food..food..food..

Spent my evening in Kuishinbo..yeah..food..
My elmo was fully bloated =(
It's always like this..work out one day..next day eat eat eat..
no wonder my scale is increasing..
Found out that excel can do graphs..haha..noobie me...but yea..i learn fast..haha..

One important trait..positive trait in me is that i learn things fast..if i put my mind to it..someone who can do really well when i put my heart to something..something some people told me before..and i didn't think much about it..because i don't put my heart into much things..but when i do that, i normally do well.. =)
I'm not without confident..not overly confident also..
To me confidence comes from knowledge and practice..with knowledge, you'll know how to handle things and with practice, you make things to perfection..
so no one is without real confidence, they just need to increase their knowledge and practice more on the things that they need to do..

Found a perfect spot for the singapore pixel contest themed contrast..well not exactly found but chance upon a picture on flickr that look like the place i've been looking for!!! now the next step is to find that location..it's suppose to be some HDB that overlook chinatown and the financial district..perfect contrast of singapore's rich culture of tradition verse the modern financial district..
Deadline's 10th april, gosh..everything is coming at me so quickly..changes, deadlines...i really don't like this period of the year, ie march till june..cos it's always so hectic..

Been making a conscience effort to not use short-forms and type the proper words in this blog entry..realised if i keep using "u..abt..tat.." and things like these i'll not be able to use proper english when i'm at work in the future..so it's good to start practicing and hopefully things will become better =)

-one step at a time-

Football positions

went for a football game today...feels so tired..haha..got some cuts here and there..but it was gd..
feels gd to play..with friends..weather was not forgiving..but got a little tanner..so not complaining..

Was thinking when i jus started playing..i noe nuts abt it..it was back in sec 1..we started wif those little plastic ball..it was a new environment for me..so playing football was the best way to blend in..was right footed..so began playing defence..as all beginners..i think..run alot along the flanks without the ball..chasing the ball most of the time..tt was also where i got my speed from..yes..from playing football..haha
mths..years..passed..switched over to the proper football..played in a more attacking role..and mostly because of my pace..but i've scored a couple of goals and my new position was rather cemented..and after awhile..u'll start to become lazy and u forget about defending..
Den recently as i aged..haha..started to move into a more central role..learning how to release the more runnnable players and control the whole midfield..creating goals rather than scoring them..enjoying this new role..and learning as each game passes..
Thats the thing about football..it's not jus abt a bunch of guys chasing after a ball..u learn wif each match..adapt to different situation and working hard for your teammates..of cos stamina and fitness plays an important role..

after game went over to holland v for dinner..NYDC again..lol..but this time round..it's nicer..haha..met cindy there too..but was too tired to talk at all..
talked abt things over dinner..kok brought up the topic of how close u're wif ur sibilings..guess he was thinking abt it cos he's the only child in the family..

i used to be quite close to my bro when i was young..as u grow older..the distance seems wider..not say distant..but jus not close..seldom tok oso since him moving out..

morning went sao mu..the day b4 slp only 2 hrs..so effectively i've only slept 4 hrs in 48 hrs..omg..aging damn quickly as i'm sleep deprived..knees burning up..but shld be ok tmr..there's this term call after wake syndrome..i came up wif it..meaning after a hard day of physical training..u go to slp..the next day u wake up..u'll feel the full effect of the aches and pain which u din feel immediately after ur training..the morning sunrise while i was at the cementry was amazing..pity i din bring my cam along..maybe find a day go take picture..
haha..tatboo..but my grandma will be there to look after me..made a few wishes today..hope she heard and maybe help help abit..

-to err is jus human-

"we can never become who we are if we keep looking over our shoulders thinking what could have been?"
~Chloe, Smallville 8~


The stuff is ready..been doing it for quite a few nights already..really looking like panda now..
It's not something that worth a lot, but it's just made from my best wishes for now and ever...there seems to be some progress going on on their side..more so now after what she wrote on her blog..the guy more eager now..hmmmmmm..
help her wif a film research paper..hopefully it helps..

feeling...not so gd..tot i can get over it easily..since nth much developed..but but but..dunno..ask her out tmr but she's busy..hmmmm..wif sch work and stuff..

shld i actually be doing all these..i've asked myself..shld i be doing wad i'm doing?? am i lingering around hoping she'll be mine one day?or am i really jus doing this bcos i'm a friend?is there something that i shld do and something that i shldn't do now?
they say when it rains it usually pours..and it happens pretty often to me...so shld i be taking reference from the past , meaning things will never go my way, or shld i look forward and jus keep on moving..let there rain and jus deal with things as they come? But then again..一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳...

I'm not doing things for her..be nice and stuff cos i'm hoping for something..at least not entirely..i'm lidat..maybe the feelings make it more than willing..but inside me..i'm jus lidat.. i'm quite sure she's keeping a distance and i dun blame her..i respect that decision..cos in a way it's helping me..a weird way..and i dun complain..of cos it stings..but i'm not complaining..as much as i wan this so call friendship to work..it takes two hands to clap..so sometimes it really stings..

I'm not an expressive person..but matters of the heart really made me wanna say alot of things..but somethings can/should never be said now..no matter wad i do or not do..he's always 1 up..it's a fact that i'll haf to deal wif..

exams coming and it really sucks..and concentrating is so hard..really wanna do well..not jus say say..hmmm..

..nice guys end last..but last guys are not nice..

A friend of ten years...told her to let me take a proper shot..but this was all i could get..prefered it all natural though..haha

10 years..can u imagine?? how many 10 years one has in a lifetime? i've taken 2 already..and sad to say..i'm not too proud abt wad i've done with them..and it's already 3 yrs into my 3rd..wad more have i done with it?
gotta buck up already yo..

Talked abt things..everything seems like just yesterday..futures..plans..and nydc is not tt nice..lol..maybe it's jus me..she wasn't complaining tho..asked me when i've learnt to take thigs so easily as i'll be doing a wedding shoot for my ex..my ans: i've grown up and the feelings have passed..
come to think of it..realised i'm the one updating rather than updating each other..lol..was telling her we gotta meet up more often..dun wanna wait some 10 yrs b4 another meet up arise..dunno how many 10 yrs we've got..lol

Met cindy last night abt the japan trip..still pondering..cos the fares over in japan is rather pricey..tho the air ticket is cheap..but over there..hmmm..but really feel like going..even tho japan was nv in mind when i've decided to travel..lol gotta make a decision fast..eeee...if only i'm a rich kid..then i wont haf to blink an eye b4 saying yes..hmmmm..

gotta go mug liaoz..hafnt been studying diz days..die die..

Unhappy

Not happy..not at all..
y do humans feel more for unhappy stuff rather than happy things...and that we remember the unhappy things more and that happy stuff are easily forgotten..
and when it rains it pours...wanting so much to leave..


All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
It's early morn
The taxis' waitin
He's blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Recognised

Singapore Weekly Photographer

Singapore Photographer Facebook Group

Entangled

Too bad i wasn't able to be present for the 1st anniversary held at the supperclub..exams and stuff..this is my first award..haha..so to speak..no prize but still happy..somemore i'm the last person..week 52nd..haha..damn heng..
So now it gives me tt little bit more to up my level some more..for more awards in future..it's gd to be recognised for wad u're doing..photography is my 2nd serious hobby after running..and i intend to do it well..even if not going to go into commercial or wad..at least the standard have to be there..and i oso hope one day i'll be able to have my own exhibition =)

Shapes

Apart

Heart

Entangled

Shapes of everyday things...hearts..lines..curves..
Little little things you and i missed in our hectic lives..simple things created by light and shadows...
Have you ever wonder how much u've missed?

差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

遇上了错的人
渐渐的吻在她无心的嘴唇
感觉像一个旅程 走完了就分
错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
爱情的岔口
你是我等不到的路人
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
如果没缘分
我也会固执的为你一人
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点 你就是我的女人
差一些 手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分　

Blissful Journey

Wedding of Adrain and Pauline..
was introduce to them by a fren..this is the 3rd diz yr..looking at the blissfulness of these lovely couples...it does rub off to me a bit..
A marriage, the union of a couple..it is possible only through love..and lots of courage and understanding....
From dating to marriage..some may take a while..others take a long while..but it's all hardwork..and only those in the picture will noe if it's worth it..